The Machine - Bert Kreischer: THE MACHINE

  • čas přidán 28. 12. 2016
  • This is the story about the time I robbed a train in Russia with the Russian Mafia.
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Komentáře • 11 287

  • Mando Guichardo
    Mando Guichardo Před 5 minutami

    How is this funny?

  • Dope
    Dope Před 9 hodinami

    he has a nice ass rolex

  • Noureddine Sai
    Noureddine Sai Před 10 hodinami

    i had the best 13 min of my life

  • callista sm
    callista sm Před 10 hodinami

    this settles it i will never hear a college story as entertaining as this 😂😂😂

  • Retiredlight
    Retiredlight Před 14 hodinami

    Start a petition to have Bert go back to Russia and find Igor

  • zact lee
    zact lee Před 17 hodinami

    I call bullshit.

  • Gaming Boy29
    Gaming Boy29 Před 23 hodinami

    bruh im going to russia to find a guy named egor

  • TheMemeMachine
    TheMemeMachine Před 23 hodinami

    That sound like one hell of a time

  • KauBïf
    KauBïf Před dnem +3

    There's a picture of him with the gang, it's pretty cool.

  • Sebastian Schelmety
    Sebastian Schelmety Před dnem

    How to join the Mafia
    1. Say "I am __________."
    2. Drink Vodka and smoke cigars

  • Thewigon sees you
    Thewigon sees you Před dnem

    Sounds kinda like John cena if you close your eyes

  • Dino Puppet
    Dino Puppet Před dnem

    Fuck it I'm the machine

  • dimitar gondolqn
    dimitar gondolqn Před dnem

    actually mafia in russia is called mafia

  • HopeHasNoPlaceHere AbandonAllYeWhoEnter

    That liberal arts confidence🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Astronut Music
    Astronut Music Před 2 dny

    Forget all the florida man headlines. this wasnt in florida and it tops all of them

  • Anthony Bartoletti
    Anthony Bartoletti Před 2 dny

    So I didn't watch the video at all but I still liked it because the first two seconds of it was "When I was 22 I joined the Russian mafia"

  • K. Hendrickson
    K. Hendrickson Před 2 dny


  • TrueMetis
    TrueMetis Před 2 dny

    I'm imagining one of the Igors couch surfing one night and stumbling across this bit.


  • CHarles Vitanza
    CHarles Vitanza Před 2 dny

    Bert Kreischer is Florida Man!

  • Carlo Gambino
    Carlo Gambino Před 2 dny

    A real OG this guy xaxaxaxa 😂😂😂

  • Doctor Diamond
    Doctor Diamond Před 3 dny +1

    God I Fucking Love This

  • Heather Morton
    Heather Morton Před 3 dny


  • Silent Thunder
    Silent Thunder Před 3 dny

    Tottaly happened.

  • DatKxdCSK
    DatKxdCSK Před 3 dny

    If I have to hear about this bit one more time I’m gonna start a Holocaust.

  • Mr Chains
    Mr Chains Před 3 dny

    Not funny

  • korn666
    korn666 Před 3 dny

    lol, every time i watch this by bert i laugh out loud, i hope they make a movie of this story. would be cool.

  • Murphy's Law
    Murphy's Law Před 4 dny

    He should not have said that story

  • Emptyeauation 16
    Emptyeauation 16 Před 4 dny

    this guy seems really fat n racist

  • Kirill Kuznetsov
    Kirill Kuznetsov Před 4 dny

    Should say: "Ya terminator!" (I'm the terminator) or "Mne vsyo pohui!" (I don't give a shit!) instead. Free Russian lesson for you.

  • Sandrya Silva
    Sandrya Silva Před 4 dny

    Seen 100th time, still watch again today and still laughing

  • Karl Gerber
    Karl Gerber Před 4 dny

    This sketch is funny. If you like it maybe you should try this:

  • Thien Bui
    Thien Bui Před 5 dny

    When you get robbed by the people who were supposed to protect you

    • Danzan Sandeev
      Danzan Sandeev Před 2 dny

      if you are talking bout gangsters... they are gangster what do you expect)
      if you are talking bout policeman... unfortunatly that's what happen when your country break down and change political course. this time in russia is known as "wild 90s"

  • Thien Bui
    Thien Bui Před 5 dny

    I wanna see an animation of this

  • Shane Wilder
    Shane Wilder Před 5 dny

    I can watch this all day i love the egor spins the cop around lololololo

  • CMP
    CMP Před 5 dny +1

    2:41 when my friends told me they we're going on vacation

  • Ellen Ezell
    Ellen Ezell Před 5 dny +2

    I watch this every time I’m sad, this makes me laugh to the point of tears EVERY. TIME.

  • Swisside
    Swisside Před 5 dny

    Ай Лайкт лис видио

  • Tore Johnson
    Tore Johnson Před 5 dny

    This goof is such a liar.

  • MedicMaster049
    MedicMaster049 Před 5 dny

    Is this real? Did a copy actually go "No. Fuck that bitch, this is Russia."? I so want this to be real.

  • The Shinjen
    The Shinjen Před 5 dny

    I thought what he meant about mafia is about joining and being a SLAV!!😂😂

  • fatjec
    fatjec Před 5 dny

    Bert is a fat, bisexual,bottom queer.

  • Live Thicc
    Live Thicc Před 5 dny

    This man is deity

    DIVERGENT _ Před 6 dny +10

    Vladimir Putin "So I hear you're the machine."

  • Jeffery Six
    Jeffery Six Před 6 dny


  • Nick Stoops
    Nick Stoops Před 6 dny

    This is fucking sick

  • Kory Pettiford
    Kory Pettiford Před 6 dny +3

    Let me know when this movie comes out

  • Kory Pettiford
    Kory Pettiford Před 6 dny

    That was a good mf story. And the way you told it was nice

  • Still Haz3
    Still Haz3 Před 6 dny

    Most intense story. Love it🤟🏻

  • Belle Fougner
    Belle Fougner Před 6 dny

    *stanger things enters the chat*

  • Reynaldo Luna Jr.
    Reynaldo Luna Jr. Před 6 dny

    Он машина!!!

  • phantom of the void
    phantom of the void Před 6 dny

    i accidentally joined the russian mafia

  • GameBoiii Does Reddit
    GameBoiii Does Reddit Před 7 dny

    the russian police are the mafia

  • Farsha 17
    Farsha 17 Před 7 dny

    Unfunny as fuck

  • SSQUAD #2667
    SSQUAD #2667 Před 7 dny

    That's How Mafia Works

  • До Би
    До Би Před 7 dny +1

    Put a bloody shirt on.... Your Russian is as bad as your BMI.....

  • Jim Thomas
    Jim Thomas Před 7 dny


  • Rob F
    Rob F Před 7 dny

    Gets better every time I hear it

  • itsmyonly option
    itsmyonly option Před 7 dny

    Bert is so overrated. I don't get it. Watched his cooking show where he mentions "Will Smith discovered me". F off.

  • TheWeea Boo!
    TheWeea Boo! Před 7 dny

    Okay now I wanna join a mafia and just yell FUCK THAT BITCH THIS RUSSIA

  • 81 moldy
    81 moldy Před 7 dny +1

    I really hope this story is real, because it is seriously badass.

    • KajiggaD
      KajiggaD Před 2 dny

      It's true alright, there are some pictures on twitter about it.